Halloween Pretties

One of the coolest things about having a large family is being able to dress your kids in multi-person themed costumes for Halloween. I LOVE IT! :) Being a literary gal, I usually choose a theme from a children's book. This year was Charlotte's Web. S was Charlotte. MP was Templeton the Rat (how appropriate.....*wink*). JP#1 was Fern Arable, and JP#2 was piggy perfect as Wilbur.

Back in Blog Land with Some Thoughts About My Family

I haven't been updating the blog for a few months due to general craziness in our lives. The story behind the craziness is too painful, convoluted, and long to get into, but it looks like everything is settling out now. So, I wanted to get back into updating the blog and thought I would start with something I wrote a few weeks ago.

It's a series of things that I wish folks that we meet or encounter out and about would understand about my very special family. It's not a rant at anyone specific person or situation, but a general wishlist of things I pray that the world could just "get" about the Edwards' and the thousands of other special needs adoption families. I know I'm largely preaching to the choir among my family and friends, but here goes:

Things I Wish People Would Understand About My Family

1. My children have been through perdition. Just because they are clean, well-fed, charming, and bright when you encounter them doesn't negate all of their memories and all of their feelings about the YEARS when they were in danger. Please don't presume that we should all "just forget about it."

2. My children have difficulty with honest relationships. Trust is a new concept for them. They exploit, manipulate, and deceive because that is what it took to survive. That doesn't make them exploiters, manipulators, or deceivers by definition and it doesn't mean that I'm at fault for their behavior.

3. I am not parenting these children because I couldn't get anything "better". I'm not the parent of sloppy seconds. My children are not a consolation prize for infertility.

4. My infertility is not a judgement against me, some divine sign that I'm really not cut out to be a parent. Please don't presume that there must be something "wrong" with us as a family if we can't make biological babies, and don't assume that I don't have normal mommy feelings and frustrations just because I should be forever "grateful that someone let me raise THEIR CHILDREN."

5. My children will not be who they are right now in 5 months, 5 years, or 5 decades. They are growing and changing. I am growing and changing. Please don't assume that one low point in our life as a family is who we are for all eternity.

6. I am not doing this for the money. You are not entitled to know how much I am "paid" to take care of these children. I don't ask you how much you make at your job, please don't feel like you should get to know how much my children receive in a subsidy. It's THEIR money. Not mine. Not yours.....even if your tax dollars do go towards it.

7. What my children have been through and are going through is not catching. You can't get it by being informed about it, so don't hide in your ignorance because it makes you "sad" to think that children have PTSD, RAD, or other emotional problems. You can't get it by being tolerant, compassionate, or concerned, so don't just write us off as friends, as pupils, or as fellow Christians because our issues seem too big for you.

Becoming a Family in Christ...The Peas Baptism

Last Sunday, the Peas each received the first sacrament, the grace that makes so many other graces possible....baptism. We also participated as a family in a public rite of thanksgiving for their adoption. And, as the cherry on top, it was Sky's first Sunday as an acolyte. It was a big, big day all around. I was so proud of each of my children, and so blessed to hear them say "we do" when Father asked them if they took me as their mother. I love how adoption mirrors the way that Christ makes us part of His family. He chooses us. He makes His home with us. He indwells us with His Spirit....His unique vision. And we become His children. God Is Good!

Summer Birthdays Are So Fun!

Pea #2 and #3 had their birthday party this weekend at our camp on Lake Toledo Bend. It was a blast. The luau theme made the day, and they were so cute in their grass skirts. We put the poles in the water for a bit, and Pea #3 caught her first fish! Happy Birthday!

Sky's Birthday

My cutie is six years old! Oh my goodness! We had a western party with stick horse races and a water gun shoot-out. I can't believe my sweet baby is half-way to adolescence. In two more weeks we'll do it again when the double trouble team turn five.

Getting Lost....Saying Goodbye

I lost my babies. It's something I have said dozens of times. Today driving across a lonely stretch of highway it struck me that this turn of phrase is too obscure and innacurate to describe what happened to me and my babies that died.
I was taking the children that are with me to an appointment that would never be kept with a man who believes that he too simply mislaid his progeny the way someone else might lose track of a set of keys or the change from a five dollar bill. Yet, no matter what he believes, his children aren't lost or stolen or discarded. They are placed in the arms of someone who has planned and dreamed of them, who loves them, who will treasure them. Neither are my babies lost. They are in the arms of Jesus who knew them and planned them and treasures them. He's keeping them for me.
I got to say goodbye to my babies. I got to tell them how much I loved them and wanted them and would miss them while we are apart. The Peas' birth father was given the same opportunity today. He didn't say goodbye. He believes that he and they are the victims of some catastrophe, some happenstance that will surely rectify itself. You can't acknowledge a mischance with the finality of goodbye. Goodbyes are for purposeful journeys. I'm glad I gave myself and my babies a goodbye. I'm glad I see the purpose of their journey through death into eternal life.

TPR.....

stands for termination of parental rights, which is what occurred for the Peas birth father this past Monday. It's been a long journey, but the Peas are one step away from being legally cleared for adoption. The burden that has been lifted from our souls is just unbelievable. It's such an amazing gift to just be a family with no qualifiers and no limits on what that means.
God Is Good!